Bancuri

One man to another. ‘I want to marry a smart woman, a good woman; a
woman who’ll make me happy.’ ‘Make up your mind.’

A judge looked severely at the defendant and asked, ‘How many times
have you been imprisoned?’ ‘Nine, you Honour.’ ‘Nine? In this case, I will give you the maximum sentence.’ ‘Maximum sentence?’ said the defendant. ‘Don’t you give your regular clients a discount’

‘I’m very sorry to learn that your wife ran away with your driver,’ said the
friend to the old man. ‘Oh, don’t worry, I can drive.’

Husband and wife were in the midst of a violent quarrel, and hubby was
losing his temper. ‘Be careful,’ he said to his wife. ‘You’ll bring out the beast in me.’ ‘So what?’ his wife shot back. ‘Who’s afraid of a mouse?’

When an efficient secretary asked her boss for a raise in her salary, he turned her down, saying: ‘Your salary is already higher than that of the secretary at the next desk. And she has five children.’ ‘Excuse me,’ the efficient woman replied, "I thought we got paid for what we produce here not for what we produce at home in our own time."

Overheard at the veterinarian’s: ‘I had my cat neutered. He’s still out all night with the other cats, but now he’s a consultant.’